A sad day...

I have been sitting here thinking about what happened, and how it has affected me. the number 343 is a number that has a lot of meaning for me now. 343 was the number of firefighters who lost their lives that day 5 years ago. There have been books printed, movies filmed and money made from that fateful day, and I'm not sure how i feel about that. there was a documentary that was being filmed about a probe on FDNY and he responded. The film crew was there for him, but got a lot of it on film. i still can't watch that movie. i want to, but its just a bit too much for me, even today.eventually i will watch it. There is an attempt as making today national firefighters day from what i have been reading on the net. i hope it will become that. i think about the WTC and the firefighters often, and i hope, even though i know what will happen... this will become commercialized, book and movie sales pumped up because of the date. is any of the profits from these sales going to help victim families, fallen police officers or firefighters? or is it going just for the greed of the producers and book agents? you never know.

well, enough of my rambling, just please, take a moment to remember the fallen. that is all i am asking.

Dispatch

Got bored and thinking while driving - it'll happen. thought I'd jot something about a run.

Laying in bed, trying to catch a nap, never knowing when the next call will be.
Suddenly the klaxon wails out its lone song calling you to battle.
you jump out of bed, and climb into your bunker pants as you scramble to the door
you hear the dispatcher call out the alarm information and you start planning the attack.
A car has overturned on the highway, no further information available.
you grab your coat and throw it on, tossing your helmet in the truck as you climb up into the cab. The captain radios into dispatch as the bay door is opening, and the engineer brings the truck to life with a roar. the air horn blasts out its warning as the engineer steers the engine like second nature. The captain calls out assignments, you are on combitool - part spreaders, part cutters, and will rip thru metal in nothing flat. The captain radios on scene and you jump out, flipping open the compartment, and grabbing the tool. You hear glass break and know the captain has broken a window to gain access to the patient. You step around the engine and see the car, it is back up on its wheels, but pretty smashed up. You prepare to roll the roof, as your partner is cutting the windshield so you can roll the roof off. You can hear the engineer firing up the generator, so you have power to the tool. The patient is unresponsive, and time is critical. You cut thru the posts one by one, the combitool is ripping thru the metal with ease, and you know things are going smoothly so far. The medics show up, and take over patient care, the captain jumps out, and gets ready to help lift off the roof. you are thru the posts on the drivers side, and you go around to the other side to cut the posts as the medics start strapping the patient into a extrication pack. You have all the posts and windshield cut, and are ready to lift the roof. All the engine company lifts the roof and moves it off the car so you can get the patient out. Everyone jumps in, and gets the patient to the backboard and onto the stretcher. The patient is still unresponsive, and you know it is going to be close. The medics ask you to wheel the bus, its going to take both of them to work the patient. You toss the captain your helmet and coat, and head to the bus. The medics have an airway in the patient now, and hooked up to the monitor. "Roll" calls the medic and you drop the bus into gear and flip on the lights, knowing that you have a very short time to get to the hospital. You call into dispatch, letting them know you are en route to the hospital. You steer thru traffic, siren wailing, watching the road, and hoping you get there safely. You get to the hospital, and back the bus into the bay, call in that you are at the ER as you get out and open the doors for the medics. You get the patient in, and bid goodbye to and the medics as you go back outside to wait for your engine crew. The engine shows up and you head back to the station, wondering what the next alarm will bring.

Ribberfest

Well the Ribberfest was an interesting expierence. Got there in the early afternoon, and checked into the hotel. it ws far from comfortable to say the least.





Some of us did partake in the consumption of adult beverages. I stopped counting after 20 longnecks, and that did not include the ones at the two bars in town - the Vault and Brewskys. Those were interesting places. the scenery was nonexistant, unless you are into crack whores. Buying the beer was interesting. The Mt carmel package store, with beer and live bait. oh well, at least there were no worms in the beer.



Luckily we had blue shirts for friday, so it was not as embarasing as the shirts for saturdays main event. i still say pink shirts are NOT flattering on me. i don't think i can say that enough.

we did have a fun time cooking even if we didn't do to well in the competition. the meat was good, so it was worth it.



I had a blast with the other guys from the department, and I can't wait till next year.

The Last Biker

I came across this a while back, and I liked it. I don't know where it came from or who wrote it - the site i found it did not give any credit to who wrote it, or i would pass that along. I don't like the all caps, but i'm too lazy to fix it.

THE LAST BIKER

THE OLD ONES STAND OUT NOW

THEIR NUMBERS DWINDLING DOWN, THEIR A SAD LOSS TO THE AMERICAN SCENE THESE INDIVIDUALS WITH THE WORN DOWN CLOTHES AND FACES. SOME IN PACKS, NOT AS LARGE AS A WHILE AGO --- SOMETIMES ALONE, THE ALONE ONE IS THE BEST.

ONE WHO`S BEEN THERE A LONG TIME, STAYING IN THE LIFE HE LOVES, NEVER GIVING IN TO A SYSTEM THAT SUCKS YOU UP LIKE A VORTEX IF YOU SLIP ONE FOOT INTO IT.

HE`S GOT HIS CONNECTIONS, A FEW LIKE HIM THAT CARE FOR AND PROTECT EACH OTHER, HANGING ON TO THE ONLY UNIQUE LIFESTYLE LEFT, LIKE OLD DINOSAURS.

THEIR FACES ARE LEATHERED AND ROUGH BY FORTY, BUT THEIR EYES STILL SHARP AND KNOWING, SOME ARE GREY IN BEARD AND BRAIDS, SOME ARE LIMP IN STEP OR PAIN IN THE KIDNEYS, STILL THEY KNOW NO OTHER LIFE IS LIFE, BUT MERELY A JOURNEY INTO EVERYONE ELSES MONOTONY.

HE LOOKS AT THE NEW ONES AND TURNS AWAY, KNOWING THEY WILL NEVER KNOW OF LIFE ON THE ROAD AND OF THE WOMEN WHO CAN TAKE IT, WILD LOVING WOMEN WHO WILL HANG IN WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY LOVE IT TOO, A WOMAN WITH A WILD HEART AND A LOYAL SOUL, THATS WHATS NEEDED HERE.

THE NEW ONES ARE SHINY AND YOUNG AND A BIT TOO CLEAN, THEY ARE BORN INTO A SYSTEM THAT HAS AN IRON GRIP NOW, THE NEW ONES WILL NEVER KNOW AND COULDNT TAKE THE LIFE.

I THINK ITS A MYSTERY EVEN TO THE OLD ONES WHY THIS LIFE IS THEIRS, BUT IT IS, AND ITS THE ONLY ONE, WHEN THE LAST BIKER FALLS, LIKE THE DINOSAURS THE SUN WILL GO DOWN ON A BREED OF HEART-OF-GOLD, TOUGH AS NAILS FREE SPIRITED MEN WHO EVEN AT THEIR WORST LOVE WHAT IS THERES AND PROTECT IT.

IN A WORLDWIDE SYSTEM THAT IS MAKING ALL PEOPLE AS ALIKE AS MANUFACTURED DOLLS, THE EARTH WILL BE A MUCH DULLER PLACE

WHEN THE LAST BIKER FALLS

Starbucks

I can't help but laugh at something. Just about every time I go to Starbucks, I order a large coffee with 4 or 5 shots of espresso in it, depending on my mood. the barista almost always asks if i want the house blend or the bold blend on top. hmm.... let me think about this... espresso... um here is a no brainer - of course i want the bold - i just ordered 5 shots with it. i don't know, it just strikes me funny.

The BBQ cookoff

So I am heading to Mt Carmel Illinois tomorow to go to the BBQ cookoff for the fire department. Just found out what our shirts are going to look like. PINK! Fucking pink! WTF?!?!?! This is an interesting thought - a fat fireman wearing a PINK shirt. YUCK! Nasty! I feel like I have been violated by the fairy outfit crew. The only saving grace is that we are getting blue shirts as well for friday, so the pink (eeewww) only has to be worn on saturday for the competition. Oh yeah, we are also going to be wearing straw hats. yikes! Oh well, at least there is going to be a shit ton of beer and other drunk rowdy firemen to share in my pain and embarasment.


This is a pic of my new hat - woohoo!!!!

The road is a bitch

I had a chance to do something that i do from time to time, which is behind the wheel. I had to go to EVV for filming, then Vincennes, and then to Mt. Carmel for an un-official fire dept detail - beer drinking pig roasting fun.

While on the road, i had some time to think about things. It got kinda depressing. Thinking about how exhausting living on the road is - it will wear you out thru the bone. when the white lines justturn to a blur, and your next meal is a corn dog and egg roll from some gas station. you go from hotel to hotel till the only way to know where you are is to roll over and look at the phone book next to the bed. you lose track of friends and family , and the ones you love. You wish you could be with that someone special, and miss them terribly, but you lost them some miles back. You yearn to settle down, to be able to lay with the one you love, hold them close, but they probably don't know that you even exist at this point.

That is not the life for me anymore. thanks anyway. been there done that, not again. You think its going to be a great freedom, then too late you find out that it is a prison, but by then its too late.

god, i hope the bbq cheers me up.

country songs

you know, its amazing. simply amazing that there are people that say they listen to country music, i mention chris ledoux and they look at me blankly. i was on the road today, heard this song and simply said... wow.
so, since this is my ramblings page, and i can bitch or ramble if i want, i thought i would post this and see if you thought the same thing, this is a great song. i just wish that these pseudo-country music listeners would know more than the hip=hop country that is blasted today.

Look at you girl
Just look at you, girlStandin' here beside meStarlight on your hairLookin' like a dream I dreamed somewhereAnd look at me, girlYou got me actin' just like a loverIn an old time picture showAnd how I got the part -- I just don't knowBut it's written all across your facePlain as it can beYou're the one that I was lookin' forNow you're all that I can see
Chorus:
You mean everything to meAnd I'd do anything to have you stay foreverI'm an ordinary man But I feel like I could do anything in the worldWhen I look at you, girl
Verse:
Just look at you, girlWalkin' here beside meMisty morning lightI see my own reflection in your eyesAnd just smile at me, girlWith eyes that tell a storyThat words can never say tellin' me your love is gonna stayAnd we're standin' right together nowIn everything we doAnd if my world should come apartI'll still be lovin' you
Repeat chorus